Original, non-AI-enhanced text: It’s Not Nice to Fool Mother Chip!
Mother Chip, the matriarch of the Chip clan, sauntered through her grand gallery of immortalized skelekin, each depicted on a canvas adorned with a gilt frame, suspended on dank and dusty damask. Her pride and joy were all present: Chief Birdygo, Rich the CSI Guy, Nurse Janet and Brad the Surgeon, Pirate, Cruz, Coco, and Amazing Grace, Chica Mutante, and her hapless brother, Alejandro. Even the androgynous Terranean burkini models, Inané and Insané, and the guys from Bin 206 had their place on the walls. Dirty Rich, the buffoon of a clown dentist, was there too, as was her favorite grandson, Butterscotch, whom she loved more than death itself.
As she took in the portraits of her progeny, Mother Chip’s thoughts drifted to the chaos that was brewing among the potatoes and skeletons in the neighboring Podunk farm town. But why should she care? With the help of the unwitting and lascivious clown dentist, she had already rid her clan of Allie, the mermaid skeleton whose presence threatened to pollute their gene pool.
She smirked at the ease with which she had manipulated the potato-farming potato Joy into carrying out her plan. The massacre of a skeleton family at Arbor Ring Farm only added fuel to her plan, and Mother Chip’s calculated moves had successfully enlisted Joy as her stooge. The potato rumbler in the barn, her brainchild, stoked fear and mistrust among the potatoes, and the not-so-secret meeting of potato diseases, also her idea, triggered a fatal call to arms. If only her granddaughter Missy had listened to her advice and stopped fraternizing with the other kind. But Missy, always impossible, ignored her counsel and continued to secretly spread her pubic symphysis to young spuds in the neighboring town. Upon uncovering Missy’s deception, Mother Chip was shaken by the potential ramifications. « A Potato Chip in the family?! » she exclaimed. « Over my dead body! »
THE END
Mr. Funny Bones 