Missy Impossible, Chapter 2

“So, what’s up with all the trash all over the floor? I thought you said you had a new housekeeper.”

“We do, but all she does are counters and things she can reach without bending her knees. She says it’s because of her patellar aplasia. As if that’s a real thing.”

“Um hum. And your mom’s okay with it?”

“Oh, yeah, she hired her because of it. She’s her latest charity.”

“Pitiful, just like that Mother Monster police tape you’re tangled up in like in that last video. Hold on a sec…”

“Hello?  Oh, hi Dirt… I mean, Rich. This Saturday? Sure, sounds like fun. I know where it is. See you then. Bye.”

“Who was that?”

“Oh, that was Rich. He wanted to know if I was interested in going to the Writer’s Colon later. They’re putting on a marathon dramatic reading of Gray’s Anatomy.”

“Rich the CSI guy from Dead on a Rival: The Case of the Crock-Pot Killer?”

“No, a new guy.  I like Rich the CSI guy, but he’s kinda stiff.”

“Yeah, and in all the right places.”

“What’d you just say, Missy?!”

“What?”

“You know exactly what. Anyway, I think it’s a predate! Hey, why don’t you come with me? We can go early, and then I’ll just chat with him for a bit, and then we can leave.”

“Sure.”

“Great. So, check this out. My Zombie Zumba instructor wants us to learn this routine. Wanna practice it with me?”

“Sure. Help me out of this tape first.”

“On second thought, give me back the police tape… Hey, that corpse’s hot!”

“Don’t I know it! I wish I could reggaeton pump like that. I don’t have the abs for it.”

“Ooh! Spread the jam!” 

“What?!”

“What?”