DOA, Chapter 25

“Snap out of it, sir!”

“Huh? What? Who am I? Where am I? What am I? Sir, yes sir! Chief Birdygo Chip reporting for duty, SIR!”

“Sir, you’ve drifted out of character! You’re not Mister Miyagi, I’m not your superior, and this isn’t The Karate Kid, sir! You are Chief Birdygo Chip, this is Dead on a Rival: The Case of the Crock-Pot Killer, a Mister Funny Bones Mystery, and you are about to reveal the killer’s identity!”

“Oh, right. Never go to work after a visit to the eye doctor, kid. The stuff they use to dilate your pupils messes with your head. Either that, or I fell off the candle, hit my head on the table, and the writer, even though he doesn’t know where to go with this side story, is having me mention it anyway because he thinks it’s funny. Now, where was I?”

“You were talking about illusory motion, sir.”

“Ah, yes. Struggling with the facts and the non-facts of this case, I retreated into staring at the words ‘Rival Crock-Pot’ for so long without blinking that in my mind’s eye the words changed order and I read ‘Crock-Pot Rival’ instead, just like in the accompanying video. At first I thought it was an urgent medical issue, which is why I went to see the eye doctor, you see. But then I realized that no, it wasn’t a medical issue. It was a clue!”

“Are you saying, sir, that illusory motion called out our killer?”

“Dead on, kid. That’s exactly what I’m saying. And that the killer of our crock-pot is none other than our crock-pot’s rival.”

“Do you mean?”

“Yes!”