DOA, Chapter 22

“But I don’t understand, sir. The guy with the crown at Bin 206 said they’d know if a bone went missing. They gave us their pickup info for Read and Ploy and everything.”

Review Bin 206’s records from October 2017

“Kid, the only way Bin 206 could have known if they were missing any bones in this case was if they’d gotten them in the first place. How many pickups did they have from the Read and Ploy location?”

“I can’t remember, sir. Three?”

“Four. How many bones does each of us have?”

“Two hundred and six, sir. Everybody knows that. It’s drilled into our skulls from the time we’re reborn.”

“Right. So, how many bones should they have logged that night from Read and Ploy, assuming they got four bags from there?”

“Let’s see. Four times two hundred and six is eight hundred and twenty-four.”

“Precisely. But the company only logged seven hundred and ninety-four, which meant they were thirty bones shy of a full skeleton. How many bones do we have in each of our legs?”

“Including the foot, sir?”

“Including the foot.”

“Well, let’s see. Femur, patella, tibia, fibula, plus the twenty-six in the foot makes thirty. Why, that’s our John Doe Number One! So, the left leg and foot from Read and Ploy never made it to the boneyard, and the yard didn’t notice because they’re only on the lookout for odd numbers. But what about Jay Dee Two? Where did he come from?”

“Ah, our red herring. He came from the prison factory where they make the dried beef. When I was shopping for the ingredients for the creamy chipped beef and cheese, I saw a recall notice posted on the shelf. Turns out, one of the workers got his foot caught in the beef chipper. Guess who got the lucky jar?”

“Gross! But what about the DNA match that led us to Butterscotch Chip, sir?”

“Lucky coincidence. You remember that the skeleton put out on the corner of Read and Ploy had been an afterlifelong donor, right? Well, the hospital used his marrow for Chip’s transplant last October, so Chip now carries his donor’s DNA. Hard to believe that we can carry someone else’s DNA from a bone marrow transplant, but it happens.”

“Huh. Why a lucky coincidence?”

“Because the DNA ultimately led us to Chip’s rat sidekick, Dale. Did you notice the pencil in Dale’s mouth?”

“Yes, sir. I believe he was helping Chip with his poster for the bobbing for apples booth at the Halloween party.”

“No, he wasn’t, kid. Chip was using finger paints. He didn’t need a pencil. Besides, that pencil was full of teeth marks.”

“Do you think Dale has temporomandibular joint disorder, sir?”

“Possibly. Or his mother waited too long to wean him when he was a pup. Regardless, he chews on things.”

“Are you suggesting, sir, that…?”

“That those abrasions and indentations on Jay Dee One’s lateral femur are teeth marks? Yes, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting. And I’m also suggesting that they’re Dale’s!”